Step Off The Grass

November 9th, 2003 § 0 comments

britain has a peculiar relationship with its grass. after all, britain has significantly contributed to the many grass based activities and sports of the world: golf, tennis , and football have all originated here. in fact, the local claim is that the first written rules of football (soccer) were set down on a plot of land called parker’s piece, several minutes from my lodgings.

britain has in turn infected america with its passion for a verdant lawn forming the cornerstone of a stereotypical suburban existence to such an extent that more water is spent irrigating lawns than for drinking. (a harper’s index fact)

the deification of the green blade is apparent in every courtyard in cambridge in the form of a permanent “keep off the grass” sign. the instant you disobey a stern-spoken grey english gentleman will approach and invect, “are you a member of this college?” then process you into the street (by the ear) without waiting for an answer.

occasionally, you will see “fellows”, who are permitted to transgress this edict, rolling balls around, perhaps working on another sport to popularize/export.